I remember my junior high years easily. I was often hopeless. I felt like I couldn't live up to my older sisters' standards. I felt like my "friends" thought I was a loser, and I constantly thought they were talking behind my back. Most of my friends in junior high had boyfriends so I thought I needed a guy to make me feel better. When I couldn't get a boyfriend, I began to feel not very pretty. I felt stupid when I wasn't the smartest person in my classes. I suddenly became unsocial and quiet. My self esteem started dropping and I stopped feeling significant. Then, I began to envy my twin sister, Sydney. She had everything in my eyes: cheer leading, a boyfriend, beauty. Even though we are identical twins, I always felt like she was prettier and better. I was simply unhappy.
When summer finally rolled around, I was relieved that I was no longer in junior high. I was finally leaving the haunting whispers and the painful laughs that I was always paranoid about. I was ready to be happy again. I wanted to be my old happy, go-lucky self. To start off my summer, I went to Snowbird. Snowbird is a weeklong Christian summer camp that is based around your relationship with God. I decided to put the school year behind me and enjoy my time at this camp. I started by talking and opening up to the other students that went with my church to this camp. I talked to old friends and people I never would have imagined talking to. I began to realize that I was actually having a good time at Snowbird. We spent our week laughing, crying, and becoming spiritually connected. When we came home, I assumed we would go in different directions and forget about the entire week. I was completely wrong.
A few weeks after we had left camp, I found myself still hanging out with the people I had met at camp. We continued to have an amazing time together. I found myself smiling more often and enjoying my time with them. I was happy. These people accepted me for who I was. I could be stupid and silly, and they still made me feel better about myself. That is when I realized that these people built me up instead of tearing me down like my old "friends" used to do. I stopped filling my life with people who did not really care about me. My new friends made me feel special and they were there for me whenever I needed them.
After meeting these new friends, I realized that in order to be happy you have to have people you love around you. You cannot be friends with people who bring you down or who do not care about your happiness. Friendship is about love, support, and patience. You have to build each other up and give each other strength. I currently have friends that I know care about me and I care about them. I am happier than ever.
